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Monthly Archives: April 2012

Genetic Testing Update

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I’ve had the complete results of my genetic testing for about a week now. We’re still waiting on the results from my paternal first cousin to be processed. Until those are done, I won’t know anything about the biological relationship to my father.

In the meantime, I’ve been absorbing and processing all the health and ancestry data that I have on me. I have to say that my ancestry is rather boring. I’m >99% European with no Native American family in at least 5 generations. My DNA matches most closely with those who have 4 grandparents from the USA, the UK, Canada, Romania, or Germany, in that order. One surprising bit of information that came out of all of this is that I am carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. It’s really not that big of deal to be a carrier unless you’re considering having biological children. If you are, you need to consider extra testing of your partner or the donor (whatever your situation calls for) and possibly prenatal testing as well. If I had siblings, it would be important to inform them of the possibility that they may be carriers as well, but I don’t. Apparently, about 1 in 25 people of European ancestry carry at least one known mutation for CF. I had no idea.

That’s about all I have to report for now. I’m waiting ever so IMpatiently for my cousin’s processing to be complete.


Sneaky feelings

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The other day, a friend shared an incredibly beautiful photo of the moment her little one entered the world. I was overcome with emotion. Part of it was the beauty of that moment and the photo, and part of it was grief that I missed that moment with Little Man and Mommy. I didn’t even recognize before that moment that I had such a strong feeling of loss. Because of the emergent nature of Little Man’s delivery, there are no pictures of that moment in the delivery room, no pictures of the three of us celebrating his arrival. I didn’t get to be there at all. I knew that seeing photos that people post of those moments shortly after delivery caused a twinge of jealousy, but I did not realize how profound my sense of loss was until this moment.

Some people will read that and think that this is ridiculous. I agree that it’s important to focus on the fact that we have a happy healthy little guy as a result of that delivery. I do not deny for a moment that having him here and healthy should be the main focus, but I think that doing that doesn’t require dismissing my feelings at the loss of that experience. In fact, just giving myself the moment to recognize my feelings and have a good cry the other day, already helped. My hope in sharing this is that it helps someone else who may be in a similar situation know that they are not alone.

The Waiting Game

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Trying to conceive is a series of waits. If you’re lucky and conceive quickly, but when you try for years to have a little one, the waits become even more torturous. You wait for your period to show. Then, you wait approximately 2 weeks to ovulate. After ovulation and insemination, you wait another two weeks to find out if you’re pregnant. If not, you wait another 2 for your period to come again and so on. I went into all this to say that you’d think after the 4+ years of our lives that Mommy and I spent waiting in two week increments that I would’ve found some patience somewhere, and to that, I would reply, “Not so much…”

My spit kit was mailed back a week ago today. My paternal first cousin mailed hers back today. The website says to expect processing to take 6-8 weeks. So, OBVIOUSLY, I check the site every day to see if there’s anything posted for me. I really am horrible at waiting. One week down, only 5-7 left. Ugh…